Author - Jenn Wright
Trust noun – Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.
Above is the definition of trust. When we think about how much of our life this impacts, it’s staggering! It involves our emotions and our patterns of behaviour which has an affect on our levels of success both professionally and personally. The biggest question around this for me is when we apply this to what we feel about ourselves, what comes up for us?
Before we can truly trust others, we first must trust ourselves. Looking at what is involved with trust - are you being truthful to who you are, especially in the areas of life that are important to you? Can you rely on yourself; do you feel you are letting yourself down? And how do you feel about your own abilities? These are challenging questions to present to your own being and if you manage to respond positively to all mentioned above, then you need to write a book to tell the rest of us how to do it!
Life is a journey, we were born relying on others and their abilities, and we trusted others for the truth. As we grow and develop, we take more of the onus on ourselves and rely less and less on others. Then comes the feeling of responsibility, which leads us to thinking much of what we do so heavily impacts others and the trust we have for our own self isn’t so easy to find. For me it’s not about nailing it at 21, 45 or 63 years of age. It’s simply about being honest with ourselves at crossroads in our lives, when we’re faced with the choices that decisions offer us. This is what wisdom is – along with age (if we use our experiences to propel us), there are moments that add significantly to our wisdom.
To trust yourself there are simple steps, although I appreciate the steps themselves don’t always feel that simple; to trust yourself is to be true to your own self, that is the only place we can gain deep trust. It’s about following what you felt was right at the time. We don’t have to get everything right, that’s called being a magician! It’s about making the best decisions you can based on what you know and feel at the time you made it, listening to that voice that won’t go away and that nagging feeling in your gut. Then and only then, when we know what that level of trust for ourselves feels like, can we really trust others.
In short, we need to stop relying on others to prove their trust worthy; looking outside of ourselves for this piece and then losing that trust when others fall short of our expectations. Handing that control over to others is futile and will often lead to disappointment. Expecting their view of the world, what’s right and wrong for them to form our map of the world. Trust yourself first, and then know that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have at the time and remember their vision maybe miles away from yours as to what is necessary, moral, ethical or emotionally right.
Trust is the feeling you have before the outcome can possibly be known
Here’s the thing, trust and outcome are two completely different things. For example, you make a decision, say something, do something. At that point your input or creation of something leaves you and the ripples start to impact in other areas of yours or others’ lives as they reach them. The outcome will be dependent on who or what the ripples touch, and how they’re received of which you have little control, although it’s true to say that if you are definite and have faith in what you’re sharing and you deliver with love and passion, even if others don’t agree with you, they trust your highest intention. Trust is the feeling you have before the outcome can possibly be known. I hear you say, “but what if I keep making decisions or happenings with less desirable or even disastrous consequences, surly then I can only doubt my ability to trust my decisions in the future?” – more often than not, if this happens to us time and again, then we probably didn’t trust in the first place and instead have possibly made decisions based on our guess of the outcome and what others may think, rather than trusting our gut instinct derived from either passion, love and our own previous experience.
Trust in ourselves is the only key to others trusting us, in our professional and personal lives. Deliver with clarity, love, passion and certainty…ALWAYS!