When is the best time to tell your manager you are looking to leave?

You are considering moving jobs. It may be that curiosity got the better of you, or you are lacking something in your current position you are now ready to seek elsewhere. If you are lucky enough to have a close working relationship with your direct manager and colleagues, it can be hard to not tell them at that point that you are looking to leave.

Don’t worry – you are not alone in this! Whether it is a mix of excitement or you want to avoid feeling as if you are betraying the company, you should know we have all been there. For a company to invest time and effort into you and your career, it can be difficult to strike the balance between wanting more and being humble for what you have.

So, what should you do? You have been to a few interviews (which was tricky enough to navigate around work) and you have been told an offer is looming. Should you share your news with your immediate supervisor or manager? Would it be more helpful or harmful?

There are some aspects you need to consider. We can at times think we know a company and they pull the Jekyll and Hyde act and don’t handle it well.

For example; I previously worked for a company that made you feel on the surface that you were appreciated. The turnover of staff was high but its recruitment – so its expected! While being there I had confided with my manager and director on personal topics and we had a great working balance. Upon telling them I was leaving their attitudes changed from the two minutes prior. I was told I had wasted their time and why did I attend training sessions and ask for improvements if I knew I was leaving. When I tried to explain I was told to leave the building – whether that was out of surprise or just how they always felt, experiences like that can put you off for life on telling management early!

Evaluate the relationship you have with your management

If you get on with your line manager well enough it can feel like navigating a friendship. On one hand you do not want to hurt their feelings and shock them with the news, but on the other if you tell them early on you are looking would they treat you differently.

You spend more time with your colleagues and managers than you do with your family. Leaving any role will take a big decision and it can make it harder to leave if they have spent considerable time training you in your career.

Take some time out of your day to think about your relationship. If they know you and respect you as an individual and a colleague they will know not telling them came from the best intention. If you find your relationship with your manager is purely professional and distant, then leaving it till the official handing in of your notice may be the best (most appropriate) option.

The best outcome

Sometimes it works out exactly how we day dreamed it when walking into work. You take your manager to one side and let them know that you are applying for other roles and interviewing. You explain it is nothing personal to them and it is simply the next step you have been looking for. They respond with the upmost respect and support and reassure you they will not escalate it further until you are ready to. They might even suggest a sit down to see if anything can be done to help you decide to stay (this is 90% of the time expected!)

When speaking to our candidates about their previous experiences, some confirmed the above!

“I got on so well with my previous manager, one part of me did not want to tell them so to spare their feelings and the other part wanted to tell them to show how much respect I had for them. But eventually I decided I trusted them enough to be open and the response was amazing. They provided a superb reference for my next role and working my notice period gave us time to get along way better than we had before and finish things on good terms.”

The worst outcome

You decide you want to be the bigger person and give your company ample warning that you may be leaving. You rehearse what you are going to say, and your colleagues say it sounds great – but it doesn’t go according to plan.

If you are valued within the team then whether they are a manager or the CEO of the company, it can be taken personally. Our top advice for this; remember why you are telling them in the first place. If you have the best intentions it can be hard for a bad reaction to stick around for long.

When speaking to our candidates the trickiest question to answer during this conversation is;

“Why did you allow us to go through training and arrange future targets if you knew you was looking to leave?”

The best answer you can give;

“I did not want to give anything less than 100% of my effort and dedication to this role whether I was leaving or not. If I refused to do further training then it would show I was no longer interested in working here which is not entirely the case. It is circumstances that mean I am looking to move on, not the team or the role itself.

I am still eager to improve my career and to do the best I can in my job so ‘checking out’ of a role before I have even been offered something else is not who I am.”

This is all well and good but how should I word it?

• If you decide to tell your manager, make sure all options of what might convince you to stay has been explored
• Ensure you explain your reasoning behind leaving carefully and portray your gratitude towards everything they have done for you
• Explain that you were hesitant to tell them because if the interviews were not successful you did not want to give the impression you had lost all interest in being there
• Reassure your manager that your work efforts will not be affected and whether you end up leaving or staying you do not want any hard feelings

What about if I don’t tell my manager early?

• Prepare a resignation letter prior to the meeting you arrange explaining in detail the reason or your decision and any information they may need to know regarding dates etc.
• Be clear and concise in your decision and method of speaking to your manager
• Reiterate to them that you struggled with the decision to keep this hidden until now, but you did not want to cause alarm or tension in the workplace
• Be sure to demonstrate how grateful you are for everything they have done, and you will not give anything less than 100% while working your notice period

The decision to tell your manager prior to getting a new role or waiting till the day of handing in your resignation is not going to be easy. But the fact you are reading this and considering telling your manager shows the respect you have for them and that leaving is not linked to working with them or the company. We wish the best of luck in what you decide to do, and sometimes their reaction can used as part of your decision to stay or not.