Why Westeros would be better off with cranberry panda

Jul 14, 2017 10:44:16 AM

Cranberry panda is the specialist recruiter Westeros needs

Game of Thrones hits our screens once more and the world is bracing itself. We’ve had six seasons of shock, horror, and screaming at the TV yet we love every second of it. Are you going to be watching the Season 7 premiere?

If you are, then we assume you are a GOT fan, and if you’re a fan then you know the world of Westeros has a very serious recruitment problem. I mean, they’ve spent the last six years trying to find a CEO (well, king or queen) who can stay alive long enough to make an impact. The replacements never do any better than the predecessor, yet there are still a bunch of people vying for the job. Will Daenerys and her band of dragons get the big job? Or maybe the underdog Jon Snow, whose CV wasn’t always going to be in the mix, will seize the role from under the noses of everyone else?

It’s not just the big job either…King’s Landing has a BAD company culture going on. It’s no wonder people are fleeing in droves!

While we don’t want to spoil two more seasons of fights, betrayal, and dragons, we couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if Westeros had an effective specialist recruitment process in place. There would be less drama (unless you have Queen Cersei on the other line demanding you send over more CV’s for her Queen’s Guard vacancies…a job no one in their right mind would want!)

Drama is great on the small screen, but we still want to explain why Westeros needs cranberry panda…right NOW!

The recruitment process would be smooth…and safe!

We don’t think anyone should enter a job process fearing for their lives…what is that about? Enter cranberry panda. All Westeros needs is a dedicated specialist recruitment team who can review the applicants fairly, ensuring the right people get to get in front of the iron throne and state their case. This has not happened in Westeros at all!

Only the best fit would be in for a shot at taking the iron throne if the pandas were involved!

Helping build a team who won’t destroy the boss…literally

The ideal team, working toward common goals, is something cranberry panda strives to help build for every client. Not one leader of the seven kingdoms has had the pleasure of knowing what a team like this feels like. Oh no…if they’re not being stabbed in the back, they’re being stabbed in the front! Ask poor Jon Snow, whose vision of a better Night’s Watch was dashed in the snow.

Then you have people who want to overthrow the boss for their own means…I’m looking at you Littlefinger (seriously, who made this guy master of coin?)

While I’m sure the boss isn’t particularly happy with literal backstabbing, everyone else in the kingdom suffer too. Work conditions deteriorate, people decide they are better off elsewhere and everything goes wrong. If Westeros had cranberry panda, the team would function from the top and everyone would be happy…and alive.

Specialist recruitment process for specialist roles

While us pandas are known for our ecommerce specialisms, we wouldn’t frown upon adjusting these for Westeros, where their idea of ecommerce is crows. Pretty sure the crows can’t deliver the latest must have sword or throne however. Lives depend on the right person getting the job, so each panda consultant could focus on an area of Westeros to ensure it is greatly improved.

Once all is well again we could go back to our ecommerce world knowing we made a difference.

Guaranteed staff retention

Retention in Westeros is…bad. Even worse, jobs don’t end in retirement. Sad (and scary) times! Here’s an example:

  • King Joffrey of the Seven Kingdoms – One year
  • King Tommen of the Seven Kingdoms – Less than one yearJon Snow, Lord Commander of Night’s Watch – Less than one year (Lucky for him, he came back to life and wisely decided the role wasn’t for him.)
  • Jeor Mormont, Lord Commander of Night’s Watch – One year

Maybe we should stop there, because this list could be one misery filled blog all on its own. But you get the drift, right? Here at cranberry towers, we strive to make sure people not only suit the responsibilities of a job but can fit the culture of the work environment.

Is cranberry panda up to the task?

Or would we be brave enough to try and fix the Westeros recruitment process? Would any recruitment agency take it on? When things like the Red Wedding happen, I’m not too sure. I guess we’ll find out what happens over the next two seasons…we hope for the people of Westeros that this issue is fixed ASAP!

What do you think?

Share your thoughts on this post - whether you agree, disagree or have your own insight to share, we want to hear from you!


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